we are

common ground

what we do

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What We Do

counseling

Meeting the needs of individuals, couples, and families who are in spiritual or relationship crisis and are longing for support, guidance, and love.

community gatherings

Developing friendship and connection through local school auctions, community garden/farming projects, volunteering for town events hosted by non-political service organizations.

Current events

Understanding the changes in our society and responding with a sense of priority, peace, and provision to meet the needs that are within our mission and work.

crisis support

Meeting the needs of single parents or sole providers with families, who are sick with temporary or terminal illness to provide for their basic needs of shelter, food, warmth, and support.

music

Leading music for spiritual communities to encourage, uplift, and inspire.

speaking

 Participating as keynotes and on discussion panels to bring wisdom, truth, humor and love to life by encouraging and inspiring communities at retreats, services, and special events.

writing

Asking the important questions about life, love, and God so that people can know they are not alone and that their doubts are an important part of their faith journey and ultimate, spiritual confidence and trust.

feeding

Providing for food insecure individuals and families, local food banks, and global communities that are on the threat of starvation.

why we do what we do:

our story, part 1

We were hiding on a stage. I know, it sounds crazy, but that’s the best way that I (Stacey) know how to say it.


We were well-known professional musicians in our upscale Southern California restaurants – being booked by agents at beautiful venues along the water: Restaurants, hotels, yachts – as well as private bookings for events at the Ritz Carlton, Waterfront Hilton, Hyatt Newporter and other gorgeous and iconic spaces.

When we weren’t performing live, we were recording in the studio for other artists, as well as our own projects.

On Saturday afternoons, we were performing at the local stunning weddings along our coast, or in the sacred setting of a memorial service for a beloved community member.

And on Sunday mornings, you could find us at our local church, leading or co-leading the music of our faith.

It was a full life.

On a stage.

But like I said, we were hiding.

Our young relationship at 18 and 19 turned into a young marriage at 20 and 21 years old. With all of our strengths of doing music as an attractive, affectionate couple in the public, we were struggling behind the scenes with imbalances in our relationship, baggage from our pasts, and current coping mechanisms that were threatening to undo us.

Rock’s issue with running to porn as a way of coping when life felt too hard, ever since he lost his single mom to cancer when he was 16, was keeping him disconnected now, in his early 20’s from the responsibilities of life. The indulgences into that ‘addiction’ as people call it (we have a different word for it) caused lying, unmotivation in business, and a general mistrust between us. It pushed all of my rejection and unworthiness buttons that I didn’t know I had come into the relationship with and we were both embarrassed for anyone to know what we were dealing with for our own different reasons.

So, we tried to find our way by hiding, but that didn’t work.
Then, we reached out to counselors who were either normalizing it or catastrophizing it.
And then, we went to pastors who were either permissive or punishing about it. Many who had their own issues with it too.

Obviously there are great counselors and great pastors… but we just kept hitting a wall with folks who didn’t know how to help us.

In massive amounts of frustration, addictive cycles and patterns, prayers, pleading, and a lot of heartache over the next several years, we had tried many methods, including separation, to deal with it all.

At some point, I heard a psychologist on a radio program talk about how we are a perfect fit to the spouse we have. If they are a flame and we are a moth to a flame, we need to look at that.

It was a riveting concept to shift from feeling like either a failure or a victim – and to consider the perfect fit of it all.

That became my pursuit to consider: How my husband’s compulsive issues and my rejection/unworthiness issues fit perfectly together. I had a vision in my mind of the Chinese finger trick from when I was a kid — you know that wicker cylinder that you can place both your pointer fingers in and then, you pull, they both get stuck. But after a lot of sweating over feeling stuck, at some point you figure out that if just one finger moves in, both fingers get free.

I decided to work on me.

My issues. My part in the dynamic. My responsibility in how I saw myself. My relationship with God, others, and life.

Within about a year, Rock walked away from his destructive patterns and never looked back. That was in 1997.

That’s when we started meeting with other couples, counseling them for free, and hearing that many were dealing with these similar dynamics. We would tell them our story and what we found to be our solutions. We had compassion, a plan, and support for others.

We became ordained in ministry and more involved in doing the work of serving other couples in healing and restoring themselves, their marriages, and their legacies with their families.

Meeting people where they were and making a difference in their lives.

This was the beginning of our work of Common Ground.

—-
Since that time we have shifted to many other ways of helping people:

– Counseling women who are spiritually anxious
– Holding events and retreats for people on the emotional and mindset connection to their physical health
– Helping feed individuals and families who had food insecurity
– Creating community experiences for the public to learn and support local food banks and global micro-economies
– Providing financial resources for single parents/sole providers who were struggling with health/wellness issues that impacted their families and basic needs

We have been in many of these situations. We have compassion, support, and a way to help.

This why we do what we do with Common Ground.

 

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